Will you tell me your story?

A small hello from me... and a request

The air feels still today. As if it’s been snowing and the flakes have muffled the atmosphere. Of course, online it’s loud. It’s always loud. I think, today, I’ll try and stay offline - see if I can enjoy the quiet (I’m not so good at enjoying my own company…)

If you want to better understand how you - or others - are feeling, I dug into what causes public grieving and why so many people are experiencing a special type of grief now that The Queen has died. I normally send longer newsletters on Sundays and shorter ones on Wednesdays but have messed the structure up this week, due to current conversations and sent this piece on para-social grief a little earlier.

Any way, I wanted to write to say “hello” as, thanks to be featured on Substack Reads, I’ve got a few new readers. My name is Catriona (I get called Katie by most, serving only to confuse) and I’m trying to understand grief - my own, and others - better by writing this newsletter. This involves me pushing myself into unusual situations (such as when I visited a medium, or went to a death cafe at a music festival). I also try to ask myself hard questions and confess to the moments in my life I’m ashamed of, hoping others will say they feel the same. But the key part is going to be speaking to others about their grief, as I’m not an expert and grief is so complex and personal I can’t speak for everyone.

It’s this part where I’d love your help - if you’d like to write something for me (like this incredible guest post by Alanna Duffield) or if you’d like to simply speak to me about your grief, then please do get in touch. Even if you don’t think of yourself as a ‘writer’ don’t worry, I’ve spent the last decade working for features desks on magazines where I’ve helped novice writers tell their stories, by either interviewing them or editing their work until we’re both happy with it.

I don’t bully anyone into sharing parts of their life they don’t feel comfortable with, something I’m sure my old lecturers would say makes me quite a bad journalist… but I don’t agree. Whenever I’ve hired people for my team in the past - I’m commissioning directer at Cosmopolitan UK and used to lead the features desk - empathy was always the key trait I looked for. We tell better stories when we understand each other.

I’m also not just looking for stories of traditional grief, I believe we can experience grief through many moments in our lives. I write here about the grief I am currently experiencing after I made the decision not to have children.

If you’re interested, or have any questions, please reply to this email. Or find me on social media, I’m here and here. I’d also love your help in compiling a list of things to say/not say to those freshly grieving, as outlined in this post. Thank you so much, I’m always grateful for everyone’s support and look forward to getting to know you all better.

HELLO! SO NICE TO MEET YOU!