How do we even know what grieving is when we don't have it modelled to us? That idea of 'running away from grief'. I only realised recently I'd spent 20 years doing - but genuinely had NO idea. Which feels wild to me now. To only feel the smack of loosing my mum, twenty years later, feels wild. Totally relate to what you've shared here, thank you x
I found this piece especially helpful, thank you. I fell into a deeper sadness earlier this year when Mikey's daffodils didn't come out when they usually did, which here in Portugal can be as early as Christmas. February 8th, our wedding anniversary, was coming up and they all seemed to have come up blind. I hadn't realised how important it was for me that those darling daffs he'd planted were a constant. Two flowers bloomed just in time for our anniversary, I probably don't have to tell you how that lifted my mood. The day after, I was due to visit our daughter in Aberdeen. I picked four with perfectly formed small buds and carefully stowed them in my luggage, determined they would flower in the kitchen my daughter and her husband were working so hard to renovate. They did. If I knew how to add a photo, I would.
That's so lovely Melinda. It's interesting isn't it, as it can be hard to pinpoint why these things mean so much. But they do. Sending love and daffodils. I always remember Mikey so bright and smiling, just like a daffodil actually xxxxx
It's been 15 years since my mum passed away when I was in my early 20s. And only now I finally saught help from a therapist, who has taught me to grief properly. Properly? I probably mean more meaningfully. His suggestions were exactly what you are saying in your post - make the anniversary a meaningful day and allow yourself to feel the emotions. Do something that makes you closer to the person you lost - make a collage, write a story about them, do something you did together, make a scrap book about your time together. How is it that it takes someone 15 years to learn to grieve. They teach you physics and chemistry at school, but living with yourself is something you have to find your own way through hell to.
I love the crocuses, they're so full of hope. My mum loved daisies. Any time I see a daisy, I think of her.
How do we even know what grieving is when we don't have it modelled to us? That idea of 'running away from grief'. I only realised recently I'd spent 20 years doing - but genuinely had NO idea. Which feels wild to me now. To only feel the smack of loosing my mum, twenty years later, feels wild. Totally relate to what you've shared here, thank you x
I found this piece especially helpful, thank you. I fell into a deeper sadness earlier this year when Mikey's daffodils didn't come out when they usually did, which here in Portugal can be as early as Christmas. February 8th, our wedding anniversary, was coming up and they all seemed to have come up blind. I hadn't realised how important it was for me that those darling daffs he'd planted were a constant. Two flowers bloomed just in time for our anniversary, I probably don't have to tell you how that lifted my mood. The day after, I was due to visit our daughter in Aberdeen. I picked four with perfectly formed small buds and carefully stowed them in my luggage, determined they would flower in the kitchen my daughter and her husband were working so hard to renovate. They did. If I knew how to add a photo, I would.
That's so lovely Melinda. It's interesting isn't it, as it can be hard to pinpoint why these things mean so much. But they do. Sending love and daffodils. I always remember Mikey so bright and smiling, just like a daffodil actually xxxxx
It's been 15 years since my mum passed away when I was in my early 20s. And only now I finally saught help from a therapist, who has taught me to grief properly. Properly? I probably mean more meaningfully. His suggestions were exactly what you are saying in your post - make the anniversary a meaningful day and allow yourself to feel the emotions. Do something that makes you closer to the person you lost - make a collage, write a story about them, do something you did together, make a scrap book about your time together. How is it that it takes someone 15 years to learn to grieve. They teach you physics and chemistry at school, but living with yourself is something you have to find your own way through hell to.
I love the crocuses, they're so full of hope. My mum loved daisies. Any time I see a daisy, I think of her.
Thanks for sharing your stories.