This really resonates with me. Like you, I didn’t lose anyone during the pandemic, so I can easily feel it’s wrong to complain. But then I remind myself of Edith Egret’s words, ‘There is no hierarchy of suffering’ & I think it’s important to remember that too. I felt a wave of grief hit me on Friday when I stood at the bus stop outside the Apple Store on Regent Street for the first time in 3 years, and remembered how I used to stand there twice a week, to catch my bus home after teaching yoga at a nearby studio. That studio is now gone (thanks to the pandemic), and on Friday, it hit me how much I miss it. Of course, it’s incomparable to losing a person, but still, it was a place I loved working at for a decade & had so many happy memories of.
Yes I so feel this. As I feel I lost an entire life that I loved, particularly as I'm such a office person and now everyone hates going into the office I find I am lonely a lot at home. And I feel I went slightly mad after just searching for that constant connection that I was used to. Xxx
Thank you for your honesty. I would agree with a lot of this especially the flatness. I have always maintained that we have never collectively processed the trauma of the lockdowns, we have rushed back to things. Loss came in many forms so even if you didn’t lose someone (which is awful), there are any number of other losses. One thing I’ve really struggled with (and none of it is my fault) is that my 12 year old’s (at the time) birthday plans were all cancelled. Her birthday is 22 March. On her 13th birthday a year later school was closed. She sat in the house by herself as we endured another version of a lockdown. By her 14th birthday she gave up on the idea of celebrating. This year her 15th, I am desperate to make that loss up to her but I can’t. That time is gone. Not sure why I shared that! But it’s really to say that the loss is huge and not something you just get over...
Thank you for sharing. I do so feel for teenagers who lost so much, like you say there was nothing you could do. But particularly when I think of my own joys of my teen years what they have lost is huge. I'm sure you're a marvelous mother though and she is lucky to have you xxxx
Thank you so much for this. I think sometimes we need someone to remind us in spite of all we can’t control, we can still be marvellous mothers! I appreciate this.
My daughters are 14 and 17, when I think about the amount of time and experiences they lost I feel desperately sad. It also feels like their childhoods have been sped up at the same time, my eldest is due to go to university after the summer and it feels like we missed some steps.
Totally agree with you, the speeding up along with the missing out has been quite weird to deal with. My eldest went away from home to Uni in Edinburgh last Sept and came home after 8 days and I think it was because she had lived such a confined life for two years and just wasn’t prepared. She is fine now at Uni in Belfast. Best wishes to your daughter for her Uni plans!
I stopped talking how I actually feel because of questions like: are you not over this yet. Stopped even saying how I actually feel because I don’t want to scare people or sound dramatic. That research is 💩 and I don’t believe it at all. I think people in general are not okay, but somehow we still move. Thanks for writing it, as it’s very relatable. Xx
i'm so pleased you wrote this piece. From the messy middle of not having something neat to tie up and say about it. It was a fucking shit show of emotions for anyone prone to feeling stuff and I'm fed up with being told I should 'feel grateful' for that time when all I feel is confused and angry and as if I almost certainly have PTSD.
Thanks for this, a lot of what you’ve written explains exactly how I feel. That study about the impact on mental health is rubbish, even the writers of it state that more research is needed as it excludes so many groups of people - from an article I read in the Times at the weekend it just focused on affluent people and excluded anyone with a mental health condition pre-pandemic and under 25’s!
Sending love! And yes it excluded so much. Which feels like a lot of the reporting with papers reporting on people setting up businesses and moving to the country... All people with a good baseline of money.
This really resonates with me. Like you, I didn’t lose anyone during the pandemic, so I can easily feel it’s wrong to complain. But then I remind myself of Edith Egret’s words, ‘There is no hierarchy of suffering’ & I think it’s important to remember that too. I felt a wave of grief hit me on Friday when I stood at the bus stop outside the Apple Store on Regent Street for the first time in 3 years, and remembered how I used to stand there twice a week, to catch my bus home after teaching yoga at a nearby studio. That studio is now gone (thanks to the pandemic), and on Friday, it hit me how much I miss it. Of course, it’s incomparable to losing a person, but still, it was a place I loved working at for a decade & had so many happy memories of.
Yes I so feel this. As I feel I lost an entire life that I loved, particularly as I'm such a office person and now everyone hates going into the office I find I am lonely a lot at home. And I feel I went slightly mad after just searching for that constant connection that I was used to. Xxx
Thank you for your honesty. I would agree with a lot of this especially the flatness. I have always maintained that we have never collectively processed the trauma of the lockdowns, we have rushed back to things. Loss came in many forms so even if you didn’t lose someone (which is awful), there are any number of other losses. One thing I’ve really struggled with (and none of it is my fault) is that my 12 year old’s (at the time) birthday plans were all cancelled. Her birthday is 22 March. On her 13th birthday a year later school was closed. She sat in the house by herself as we endured another version of a lockdown. By her 14th birthday she gave up on the idea of celebrating. This year her 15th, I am desperate to make that loss up to her but I can’t. That time is gone. Not sure why I shared that! But it’s really to say that the loss is huge and not something you just get over...
Thank you for sharing. I do so feel for teenagers who lost so much, like you say there was nothing you could do. But particularly when I think of my own joys of my teen years what they have lost is huge. I'm sure you're a marvelous mother though and she is lucky to have you xxxx
Thank you so much for this. I think sometimes we need someone to remind us in spite of all we can’t control, we can still be marvellous mothers! I appreciate this.
My daughters are 14 and 17, when I think about the amount of time and experiences they lost I feel desperately sad. It also feels like their childhoods have been sped up at the same time, my eldest is due to go to university after the summer and it feels like we missed some steps.
Missed steps is so right. And sped up! Sending love
Totally agree with you, the speeding up along with the missing out has been quite weird to deal with. My eldest went away from home to Uni in Edinburgh last Sept and came home after 8 days and I think it was because she had lived such a confined life for two years and just wasn’t prepared. She is fine now at Uni in Belfast. Best wishes to your daughter for her Uni plans!
I stopped talking how I actually feel because of questions like: are you not over this yet. Stopped even saying how I actually feel because I don’t want to scare people or sound dramatic. That research is 💩 and I don’t believe it at all. I think people in general are not okay, but somehow we still move. Thanks for writing it, as it’s very relatable. Xx
This is it. Somehow we move. And I admire us so much for doing so! Yet it's so important to acknowledge that it was tough while keeping on going x X x
i'm so pleased you wrote this piece. From the messy middle of not having something neat to tie up and say about it. It was a fucking shit show of emotions for anyone prone to feeling stuff and I'm fed up with being told I should 'feel grateful' for that time when all I feel is confused and angry and as if I almost certainly have PTSD.
The grateful thing FILLS ME WITH RAGE. And thank you! In my journalism I want to be able to find solutions but for this... It's too hard
Thanks for this, a lot of what you’ve written explains exactly how I feel. That study about the impact on mental health is rubbish, even the writers of it state that more research is needed as it excludes so many groups of people - from an article I read in the Times at the weekend it just focused on affluent people and excluded anyone with a mental health condition pre-pandemic and under 25’s!
Sending love! And yes it excluded so much. Which feels like a lot of the reporting with papers reporting on people setting up businesses and moving to the country... All people with a good baseline of money.
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