4 Comments

My rituals? I just look around my home and see things that belonged to them, it is comforting.

Mom died when I was 23. Dad died when I was 24. The man I loved more that anything died when I was 25. I'm 70 now and I still grieve for them all. In my twenties, I used alcohol to escape but that wasn't the solution. I also suffered from rheumatoid arthritis for years and years after they died. I have come to believe that the arthritis was a physical manifestation of all the painful grief I was experiencing. I no longer have any arthritis pain, been pain-free for a long time, I think that is because I processed the grief and accepted it as part of my life. They keep me company when I need a little hug, or reassurance, as well as when I just miss them. I know they are with me sometimes and always ready to come to me when I need them.

When someone we love dies they don't disappear, they move on to another way of being.

Please continue your writing here on Substack, it's valuable. I hope that you find the understanding that you are seeking by writing. Best wishes to you.

Expand full comment

Thanks so much Susan. I've recently been researching the impact of grief on the body and it does greatly increase inflammation which is, of course, linked to arthritis. All the studies do also seem to show, exactly what you say, that once we process grief the physical pain also subsides so I am happy you now longer have to live with that pain. And thank you for commenting, it really means a lot and I'm glad I am managing to help in some way. It helps me too xxx

Expand full comment

I initially had lots of things to say about ghosts but they vanished as air when I read about your Mum’s life. Her spirit is so clearly alive in you.

Expand full comment

That's such a lovely thing to say! She lived an incredible life, I admire her so much! x

Expand full comment